Closing the circle of a Renku Poem (and beginning of a new one! : )
Jackie, Jay, Christopher, Carol and Carmi...
Dear Poets,
Today we finished our third kasen renku, A Skein of Old Yarn, at the Huber Inn, celebrating with cups of sake and tea. Always a great pleasure to get together at your home, Leticia. Thank you! Tenzing, we missed you! So sorry you weren’t feeling well.
I’ll paste the finished version below, and attach its templates. (Hope you can open them!) And if you see any things to polish up, lemme know.
We also got started on a new kasen renku, spring this time. Four verses on paper at this point. I’ll include those below as well, along with a suggested revision and guidelines for the fifth stanza. We should decide upon a place to meet next time and a date. I think Thursday the 20th would be a good bet. And if no one else can host, you are always welcome here at our home.
The Renku Poetry Party, gathered at Huber's INN to close a cycle (and start a new one!; )
Okay, so here is the just-finished renku:
.
A SKEIN OF OLD YARN
.
(an autumn kasen renku)
.
begun August 20, 2009 and finished April 22, 2010 at the Huber Inn
.
Sabaki: Christopher Herold
.
Jay Haskins, Leticia Huber, Karma Tenzing Wangchuk, Carmi Soifer, Bethel, Jackie Barr, Alison Hedlund, Carol O’Dell, Doris Thurston, Tanya McDonald, Judi Komishane, Margaret McGee
.
1 autumn (Jay)
.
morning light
dragonflies barely ripple
the lagoon
.
2 autumn moon (Leticia)
.
does this warmth
come from you, O moon?
.
3 autumn (Tenzing)
.
the scarecrow’s
lost a button or two
off his coat
.
4 No Season (Carmi)
.
my neighbor weaves
a skein of old yarn
.
5 winter (Bethel)
.
in his cold hut
the hermit prepares
rosehip tea (Bethel)
.
6 winter (Jackie)
a rare visitor leaves
footprints in the snow
.
7 No Season (Alison)
just inside the door
lies an envelope
with a foreign stamp
.
8 No Season (Jay)
bits of paper protrude
from the eagle’s nest
.
9 Love (Jackie)
.
her new bikini
causes his eyes to bug out
and his heart to flutter
.
10 love (Jackie)
.
the scent of perfume
wafts from the dryer
.
11 love (Carol)
.
as I read my book
I hear her sing a lullaby
to our daughter
.
12 No Season (Jay)
.
if clouds could speak
these would whisper
.
13 summer moon (Doris)
.
summer moon
swallowed
by the mountain
.
14 summer (Tanya)
.
bats begin to swoop
all around the camp
.
15 No Season (Carol)
.
three girls
race for the white horse
on the carousel
.
16 No Season (Tenzing)
.
somebody’s gone and left
the damn milk out to spoil
.
17 Spring Blossom (Doris)
.
cherry blossoms
tease my hand
into the branches
.
18 spring (Jay)
.
the monthly poker game
still active during lent
.
19 spring (Carmi)
.
thistledown
has settled to the bottom
of the beer mug
.
20 No Season (Christopher)
.
powerful gusts of wind
from the Columbia Gorge
.
21 love (Tenzing)
.
a paper airplane
with a love note on it
hits the teacher
.
22 love (Carol)
.
traveling to the reunion
he hopes to see her
.
23 love (Jay)
.
after fifty years
she still tries to change
his posture
.
24 winter (Jackie)
.
a snowman tilts
under the pale sun
.
25 winter (Doris)
.
there’s a brown bottle
inside my medicine cabinet
labeled “Winter Dreams”
.
26 No Season (Jay)
.
the new kid is Aladdin
in the school play
.
27 No Season (Christopher)
.
suicide bomber
apprehended just in time
at the ticket booth
.
28 No Season (Doris)
.
from beyond the garden wall
a raven calls out it’s warning
.
29 autumn moon (Carmi)
.
steam from our cider
blurs the gibbous moon
in the window
.
30 autumn (Tenzing)
.
she appears out of the fog
with a train of seaweed
.
31 autumn (Jackie)
.
dried fish
paid for with Chinese coins
found on the beach
.
32 No Season (Jay)
.
my uncle collects tolls
on the turnpike
.
33 No Season (Judi)
.
fields fly by
as our car
heads into town
.
34 spring (Margaret)
.
the first calf comes
with the equinox
.
35 spring (Doris)
.
violets and hyacinth
bring blue down
from the sky
.
36 spring (Christopher)
.
at the end of the long day
art students soak their brushes
* * * * *
Celebratory sake, exquisite munchies, coffee, tea, cammaraderie AND... fascination for words!
* * * * *
And here are the first four verses in our new, spring renku. Present at this first party were Leticia Huber, Carmi Soifer, Doris Thurston, Jackie Barr, Jay Haskins, Carol O’Dell, and Christopher Herold.
PS I just noticed an awful lot of first person here. Too much. And so I wonder if you might consider changing “us” in Carmi’s stanza to “them.” ? ? ? a nearby tugboat / passes them on the river
We might also consider dropping “our” from Jackie’s stanza. Y’think? Let me know your thoughts on t his.
Christopher
* * * * *
A Butterfly Lands (working title)
(a spring kasen renku)
begun on April 22 at the Huber Inn
Sabaki: . . . . .
.
Jay Haskins, Leticia Huber, Carmi Soifer, Jackie Barr, Carol O’Dell, Doris Thurston, Christopher Herold
.
1 spring (Jay)
.
a butterfly
lands on my hand
.
2 spring (Leticia)
.
tulips greet us
with open petals
.
3 n/s (Jackie)
.
entering town
the first thing seen
is the old stone castle
.
4 n/s (Carmi)
.
a nearby tugboat
passes on the river
.
5 autumn moon
.
Three-line stanza. We should try to come inside for this one even though, yes, its easier to write moon poems that take place outside. Also, lets try to write a scene unpopulated by people.
.
Christopher has just received a note with a stanza...Will it make it into the poem...?
Posted in AT HUBER'S INN PORT TOWNSEND and POETRY 1 year, 9 months ago at 2:45 am. Add a comment
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